WOW!

God is doing amazing things in my life. I'm so excited for this upcoming year. There are so many things and open doors that God has put in my life. Let me list just some of them to you.

1. I'm going to sign up for ISP again this year. This will be my 4th ISP trip! I'm completely excited to take this journey and thanking God for the opportunity that he placed before me.
2. I'm going to help out at my church with Girls in Action with my mom. I'm going to help out with the check in system and be a sub to whoever needs me to be.
3. I'm going to be on SWAT again this year and be surrounded by girls (and Jeff) who love the Lord just as much as I love Him.
4. Getting back on track with my mind, body, and soul.

God has really been evident in my life these past couple of months.

I took a second to think of where I was last year around this time...right before I went into the hospital. I was faking it so much and I was making everyone believe that I was someone who I really wasn't. I was fooling everyone on the outside but in the inside I felt I was dying slowly everyday and I felt like I had no one to go to, and I resorted to drinking because I didn't want to feel anything anymore. I was telling myself God could not help me if he even had a choice, and I was second guessing myself about God. My mind told me that God didn't love me, if he did he wouldn't let me feel the pain that I was feeling.

I'm VERY happy to say that I am NOT that person anymore! I'm so humbled by what God has put before me. I believe in God 100% and I also believe that sometimes you have to see the down side for a little while to get back up again. It took me nearly a year to get back up, but I made it. God has really changed by life and rocked it. And for this great example I take you to Romans 12:2 "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." I will no longer conform to this world...I will be transformed!

The Day is Near

So as everyone knows who follows me on Facebook or Twitter, my grandma is having a HUGE birthday party and literally every single one of my family members are here except for one of my cousins. That is over 70 people here. That's a lot of de la Torre's!!! Well people started to arrive yesterday, and it was sooo good to see them. I have really missed all my family. I have seen them sporadically through the years, but I haven't really seen all of them together in like 5 years.

Today I get to see my baby girl. They are actually in Dallas as I type. Shawna posted a couple of pictures and she is being so cute. I really do miss my baby girl. I haven't seen her since March and that is way to long for an aunt to miss out on her niece.

I'm going to have a great weekend. These are the plans:
Today: Going to meet Shawna at CBU and visit my dad then we have dinner at my grandma Rosie's
Saturday: Getting my hair done at the Salon and then my Grandma LuLu's party
Sunday: Picnic with the whole family and dinner at Grandma LuLu's
Monday: Beach Day with the whole family

then after that we get to keep Shaylee for 2 weeks. I'm so excited to spend time with my little girl :)

Happy July!

Haven't really updated this in a couple of weeks. Well here it is. I didn't get the job at EZ Lube, so I'm just going to wait and I start work on august 6th at school. So might as well wait while I have a job already in line. So that's what happened with the job issue.

I've been dealing with a lot of sun burn. First on the fourth of July I got a bad sunburn on my left arm and on my chest. Then on Sunday I went to the beach and I had my dress off and went in the water for about 15-30 min and I got a huge sunburn on my back. Basically I can't sleep because I'm in pain and I can't take a shower because it hurts so bad. I'm dumb and I should have put sun screen on. Who knew I could get sun burnt in that short amount of time.

Well my grandmothers party is on it's way here. only about a week and 4 days and then we'll have a fun night dancing and hanging out with the family. I'm pretty excited about it. I have my outfit chosen and my shoes. I just gotta figure out how I'm going to wear my hair. I'm pretty excited about family coming and especially about Miss Shaylee coming. I have missed my baby girl so much. and I heard that she is staying longer than my sister is. :) Which means I will have a lot of time with my baby girl. My whole family is coming to my grandma's party so I'm super happy about it.

Well that's pretty much the update for now. I'm excited that school starts in like a month and a half. I'm so ready for school to start! Oh and I will have 9 months of sobriety this month next week actually. wow I can't believe it's 9 months since I have taken my last drink of alcohol. I know I can do this. I'm a strong person and I have a lot of support from friends.

Change

You call this the good life; well I call this the bad life. Nothing more then something that was a has been. I’m done trying to make your life so perfect. All you say is the things you pay for; well money shouldn’t be the issue here; but you keep bringing it up like it is. I’m done with you, all I want to do is cry but I can’t let myself, because crying only means that I am defeating myself. I can’t lose to you; I won’t let myself. The key word now is change, I need to change the way my life is from now on. I won’t be doing things that will benefit you, but will only benefit me from now on. I’m done with you, all I see is change from here on out.

Prayer

So if you guys have been following me either on Facebook or Youtube, I have been given interviews at EZ Lube. Here's what basically happened.

Sunday- I applied for the position at 9pm
Monday- I got a call from a lady named Marlo to have an interview the next day at 10 am
Tuesday- Went to Costa Mesa to have an interview with Marlo, she liked me and she told me that I will have another interview with the store manager. Later that day she called me and said that the manager wanted to meet with me on Thursday to have the interview.
Thursday- I woke up early so that I could start getting ready, then I got a call saying that the manager was in a car accident and that he wasn't going to be in the store today, and when he got back that I would have my interview with him.

So the prayer request:
1.) That the manager gets fully healed from this accident
2.) They call me as soon as he's done getting healed, this in part because I really need a job.
3.) That I actually get the job

thanks for following me :)

Happy Fathers Day!

To all those fathers out there, happy fathers day. I do have a father, but the only father figure that I have had in my life is my grandfather; Arnulfo de la Torre. I miss him everyday that he's not here with us. Today I was fortunate to go to the cemetery and lay some flowers where his ashes were laid. Looking at the tomb stone, I thought of all the memories that I have had with him. Whether it was going to the store with him or him just picking me up from school, I loved every moment that I had with my grandfather.

The irony of today was last night for me. I had a dream about my grandfathers funeral. It was so detailed that I could go back to that day and remember everything that happened.
The dream started at the Our Lady of Guadalupe Shrine, where my Uncle Sonny and Grandmother were walking down the aisle with my grandpa's ashes with the song Angel by Sarah McLachlan. Then all of a sudden, we're at the national cemetery. I could recall the place we were at and then taps started to play. I woke up with tears in my eyes.

I miss my grandfather so much. He was the only one in my life that believed in me. He knew that I could have the world if I had the choice. I love you grandpa, you are my world and will be forever.

Evaluation

So now that I have had somewhat of a better day, I was analyzing last night. I think that I was in a bad position and wanted to drink...but now I'm looking at it from outside the glass and I see that I would have made one of the biggest mistakes of my life. Drinking again would have made me a different person then from what I am now. I have worked so hard to become this person...to get the real Katrina back to where I was a few years ago.

It's strange to me that only a few years ago I knew what I was doing in my life and I knew that I was going to be doing something great, like constantly going on mission trips and trying to be a better person. It's weird how I have lost that in the short span of time that I was able to pick up a beer, or in my case, another martini or vodka shot.

I know have a clearer picture of what I am doing in my life. Yeah I know I'm far away from graduating, but at least I have the intention of graduating. I love my life right now, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I just had that little moment yesterday that I thought things were all over with.